This Is My Friend...

"This is my friend I tell you about.  He speak no English.  You like him?  Only $500 US, for all night.  He just win bodybuilder show.  He get first place, heavy-weight.  Only 19 years old!  He has big muscles, yes?  He do whatever you want in bed, but no pee, no poop.  He do anything else, in mouth, in butt.  He is very good lover.  You have money, yes?  Give me money, you go with him now.  He is sexy lover.  He will make you very happy.